The Love of a Mother: She is so worth it.

I have reached that point in pregnancy where my belly can't be hidden and it's getting harder and harder to reach down to tie my shoes, which is why I mostly wear flip flops. None of my jeans fit anymore. It is not just my belly that has grown. My whole body seems to have expanded every which way. I have not gone on a jog or done any intensive cardio in months. My eating habits aren't terrible, but I do enjoy chocolate pretty much every day. We recently took some family pictures, and I honestly could not believe that that was how I looked. I have only put on about 12 pounds since the beginning of this pregnancy, but my body looks swollen as if it has gained 25 pounds or more.

It may seem petty or shallow to share these things. I do not mean to put myself down or ask for pity. Simply put, writing helps me release so many emotions and work through them. It is therapeutic to feel my hands on this keyboard.

Today I was talking with Spencer about all these changes in my body. He has been so supportive and loving and I cannot thank him enough for that. As I was talking about my body changing for our little girl, he said, "yes, but she is so worth it." And he is absolutely right. I think of all the mothers who have gone before me, and all who will become mothers after me. Every experience is different. But there is one thing we all share: loving sacrifice.

I hope that in the next few months, and throughout my life, I can look at the ways pregnancy has changed my body, and see them as 'the love of a mother.' I have not yet met our daughter in this mortal life, but I love her. I pray for her every day, and for her well-being. I pray that my body can be a safe haven for her to grow. And I try to prepare myself and our home for the day she arrives. There is something much more divine taking place right now than the gaining of a few pounds and some stretch marks. A spirit daughter of Heavenly Father is coming to our home. And I would do anything for her, including allowing my body to change in the ways it needs to so that she can develop well.

I want to thank some fellow women who have graciously shared their closets of maternity clothes with me. Having cute clothes that fit helps me feel so much better, and I am grateful to them for understanding that. I plan to pay that forward in the future.

So for now, my new mantra is to do what I can and accept the rest regarding my body. I am not the perfect example of health and wellness, and I still have 3 more months for my body to change in ways that are somewhat unpredictable to me. But I will do what I can, and try to practice gratitude for the marvelous gift it is to bring life into this world. She is so worth it.