Strength and Struggle travel together

"You're gonna have some ups and some downs. Anybody can feel good when they have their health, their bills are paid, they have happy relationships. Anybody can be positive then; anybody can have a larger vision then. Anybody can have faith under those types of circumstances. The real challenge of growth, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually, comes when you get knocked down." -currently my favorite motivational video-

If there is anything I have come to learn recently, it is that strength and struggle travel together. There is no strength without struggle, and we cannot successfully overcome the struggle without strength.

It's hard to talk about our struggles. 

Especially when we are ashamed of them. It's difficult for me to admit that getting up in the morning, forgiving those who have hurt me deeply, and having enough confidence in God can often be challenging in my life. I don't want anyone to know that about me, because somehow society has persuaded me to believe that I am a failure if I do so.

But I am not a failure, and neither are you.

We are beautiful in our brokenness. We are divine in our struggles for there lies our strength. There lies our fight and passion to live for one more moment, one more day.

Today I ran a 5k, played volleyball,  went swimming,  ate way too much pizza and ice cream,  watched one of my all-time favorite movies,  and I'm ending the night sipping hot chocolate and blogging.

My life is not perfect,  and there are still many struggles.  But I am stronger because of them.  What I want you to know is that you can have wonderful days and sacred moments in the midst of the struggle.  

Happiness does not only come at the end.  We must learn to find joy in the journey,  and, yes,  strength in the struggle.

There is always hope.  

Aubrey

To the fifteen year old dating the football player

Hey you.

I know you're curled up on your bed right now,  wondering why he hasn't called. Is he with some other girl? Did you do something wrong?  Will you ever be enough?  

The answer is that you already ARE,  you just can't see that yet.  You hate the number on the scale and the size of your jeans.  You wish your hair was longer and your clothes were cooler.



High school is rough.  Whoever said it's 'the best four years' obviously hasn't had cafeteria ketchup stain her favorite white jeans and spent all day in the bathroom trying to make it less noticeable.

I know it sucks to fight with your parents and the boy that you really think you love.  It's the worst when those you thought were your friends turn on you.  And what about all the sleepless nights you spent doing homework that doesn't seem to matter anyway?

But I'm here to tell you something: you're gonna make it.  I know because I'm here. And you know what?

It gets better.  

Just a picture of me at 15 to remind us all that life gets better

You will find love one day.  You DESERVE love,  even though everything and everyone around you tries to convince you that you don't.  Don't give up. Now that doesn't mean constantly wait around for the next boyfriend. Just know that love is not a one time deal.  It comes and goes. You'll have another shot.  Many,  actually.  Spend time with people who build you up and make you feel good about yourself.  You will go through lots of heartbreaks but they will all teach you something. He's coming, someday.  He'll  be worth it,  I promise.
You are beautiful regardless of the number on a scale or your jeans. Victoria's secret would have you believe otherwise, but they're wrong. I guarantee you that other girls look at you wanting what YOU have.  Your eyes,  your smile, the way you light up a room when you walk into it. Be you and own it.  Your friends think you're gorgeous and you'll have plenty of boyfriends that think so as well.
If you let them, your parents will become your best friends. They might not always see things the way you do.  They may put annoying curfews and rules in place.  Regardless,  tell them about your day when they ask.  Ask them about THEIR day. Someday you'll be dying to have your mom's spaghetti and call her every day.   Also,  know that you will have teachers and mentors put in your path.  They know what they're talking about for the most part.  It's okay,  listen.
Grades aren't everything.  Don't focus so much on your external successes.  By that I mean making the varsity team,  top choir, treasurer of the National Honor Society,  all with a 4.0 and AP credits.  You will make it into college!  And guess what?  Even if it's not the college of your choice,  it will be a good fit in the end.  Don't stress baby girl.

My motto as a 15 year old still hasn't changed 

Don't waste time on people that don't matter.  

Sweetheart,  he's not going to call you back.  And even if he does,  I hate to break it to ya, but he doesn't really care about you.  He doesn't care about your dream to go to Africa or have a family someday.  He doesn't know what you're scared of or proud of. As hard as it is,  stand up for yourself.  Don't respond to his worthless texts.  Don't meet up with him.  You are enough. One day you'll forget about him and how much it hurts.  Keep your chin up,  because God has got some great stuff wrapped up in silver bows coming your way. 

It gets better. 

One day you're going to realize that you love to write, and that you can help other people with your words.  You'll realize that learning to love yourself is the scariest,  most rewarding journey you've ever taken.   And someday, you'll be ready for a love deeper than you've ever felt before,  second only to your Heavenly Father's love.  

There will be highs and lows. I can't promise that it will all be rainbows and butterflies. But you'll look back and laugh.  You'll be glad you went through what you did because it all made you who you are.

    And who you are is strong, beautiful, and loved.  

                                                        There is always hope.  

                                                       Aubrey 

Halloween at 15. Mouse costume. Oh boy.