Friday, August 18, 2017

Diary of an Air Force Wife: The First 6 Months

I have been married to my sweetheart for just over a year. For the first 7 1/2 months of our marriage, we were blessed to live in Colorado, a place we have both come to love. My family lived close, and we had many connections there. Spencer worked a normal day job at the Air Force Academy, and came home to me every day around the same time. Sometimes we even met up for lunch. So, while my husband was undoubtedly an active duty member of the Air Force, our life felt normal and I didn't truly feel like an 'Air Force Wife' quite yet. We could take leave (vacation) whenever we wanted, and when he came home from work, he was home.

In March of this year, we packed up our tiny apartment, our first place together. We made the trek from Colorado Springs, down to Del Rio, Texas, where Spencer is completing pilot training to be an Air Force Pilot. I am incredibly proud to be his wife, and to support him in this endeavor.

The other day, I thought about all I have learned and experienced in the past 6 months since leaving our safe little life and moving here. It dawned on me, that every wife must feel similar feelings when moving to a new place, whether in the Air Force or not. I would like to share a few of my experiences, feelings, and lessons learned with anyone who feels they are in the same adventurous boat.

Also, I must preface this with the knowledge I have that every family makes sacrifices. We are not superior in any way as a Military family. Many mothers and fathers spend time away from home. Children are uprooted from school and friends due to job changes and other circumstances. Work is hard, life can be complicated, and every couple goes through times when one must carry the other.

Most importantly, we are all growing, and we all experience both joys and sorrows. Life is beautiful, and I am grateful for the opportunities I have been given to grow and change for the better. So, with that, here goes-

Diary of an Air Force Wife: 

March 24th, 2017 
Well, we have made it to Del Rio, TX! It has been a busy and stressful week, but we've handled it pretty well. Yesterday I turned 23, and Spencer made it so special for me. Made me breakfast, got me tacos for lunch, and 'golden' yellow roses for my golden birthday with a card that brought me to tears. Then we went to a restaurant in town for dinner and got free cheesecake :) Afterwards we came home and took our new chocolate lab puppy, Rio, to play at the dog park. I love our little family. 23 will truly be golden.

April 13th 2017
I recently decided to start teaching piano lessons here in our home on base, and Spencer has helped that idea become a reality.

April 23rd, 2017
We found out a few days ago that we are expecting a baby. It has been a bit of a shock but also a sweet experience knowing that our purpose on this Earth and into the Eternities continues to be fulfilled.

May 5th, 2017
Pregnancy has been amazing, difficult, humbling, and somewhat scary. The first 5 weeks were not filled with severe symptoms. But week 6 hit me like a freight train. I feel nausea all day long and can't keep anything down. My sweet husband gave me a blessing. It is kind of scary to know that I have a living thing inside me that depends on me for everything. But then I remember that babies have been born for thousands of years with significantly less medical knowledge and tools. My body is meant to do this. Heavenly Father has a perfect plan. And with Spencer by my side, we can do anything.

May 9th, 2017
I don't really feel like myself, and I think that's been hard on Spencer too. I want to be happy and joyful, but that's hard to do when I'm puking in a toilet. The dishes have been in the sink for the past 2 days. Overall, I'm pretty sad and grumpy. So I decided to try and change my mindset. I can't change how sick or tired I am, but I can change my focus from myself to others and the Savior.

May 10th, 2017 
I am grateful for the few hours I had today where I felt like myself again. Spencer and I put on some music, made dinner, and I danced around the house. It was wonderful, for both of us.

May 11th, 2017 
I am grateful for trials. They are teaching me to ask for help, and also to look outside of myself and help others. I think in this life I need to learn how to do both of those. 

May 13th, 2017
The people here in Del Rio are great. The are so kind, and they make living here fun.

May 15th, 2017
Today was a really hard day. I missed home and the familiarity of the people I love and even the stores in Colorado that we don't have here. I talked with Spencer tonight about it, and he said he's felt some similar feelings. We don't really feel like we belong here yet. I cried a lot and he held me. We are growing together.

May 30th, 2017 
Today I discovered a little Mexican bakery in town and I loved it. The culture here is so fun. We went to Arizona for memorial day to visit the Baldwins. I am grateful for my relationship with them, and that it continues to grow. And most of all, I am grateful for Spencer. I have been so sick during this pregnancy, and he has not complained once. I am trying to be as encouraging as I can during this stressful time of pilot training.

June 4th, 2017
We were able to attend the Gila Valley temple when we went to Arizona, which is the first time we've been able to attend a temple since moving here. It was so wonderful to be inside the Lord's house. Even though this move and pregnancy has been difficult, I was reminded of all we have been blessed with. The gospel is true, and all that we suffer here will be recompensed in the Eternities. I love my Savior, I love my husband, and I love our little one on the way. We have been so very blessed in this life.

June 6th, 2017 
We knew being in Del Rio would be somewhat difficult due to pilot training. However, we did not anticipate me being pregnant and having a puppy at the same time as Spencer going through this rigorous program.

I am grateful to say that we have turned toward one another rather than against each other. We rely on one another and the Lord more often and more heavily than before. I am learning to create my own life and be more independent while Spencer is gone during long days. I am also learning how to be the best, most encouraging cheerleader I can be for him. 

June 17th, 2017
Two days ago Spencer completed his solo flight in the T-6 aircraft. That means he got to take the plane up by himself and fly for awhile. It was such a privilege for me to watch. He looked so great, and my heart was bursting with pride. It was one of the highlights of my life thus far.

July 4th, 2017 
We loved having the  Baldwins come to visit us for the past few days. We had so much fun out at the lake! I am grateful for such wonderful in-laws.

July 18th, 2017 
My belly continues to grow, along with the rest of me. We spoiled ourselves in San Antonio for our 1 year anniversary this weekend. Spencer is truly my best friend. He is so good to me.

July 25th, 2017 
It's a girl! I never want to forget today. Being there with Spencer at the ultrasound appointment and marveling at this tiny human that I have the privilege to carry. Today I felt close to heaven as we watched our little girl kick and move her tiny fingers and toes. God is so good.

August 14th, 2017
I just returned from a trip home to Colorado to see my family. I cried as I passed the 'Entering Colorado' state sign, and absolutely loved being there. There is something special about that place for me. I have to admit though, being away from Spencer that long felt like a part of me was missing. Coming home to him was so sweet.

August 18th, 2017
A fellow Air Force wife recently told me that it takes about 6 months to adjust to your new move; to meet some friends and make connections, know your way around, and create a few memories so that it feels more like home. Tomorrow, we will hit our 6 month mark since moving here. And I can honestly say, we are happy to be here. Del Rio is not our dream destination for retirement, but it has become a sacred place to us because of the experiences we have shared. We love the people here, and feel blessed to associate with such wonderful people in and outside of the Air Force. Not every day is bliss, but that's just life. Overall, life here is good, because we have chosen to make it so. 


LESSONS LEARNED: 

1. Create a life for yourself. Your husband will be gone a lot, and your life will be much more fulfilling if you pursue hobbies, initiate outings with friends, and fill your days with things you enjoy. Try new things, and go to Air Force events or other activities even when you don't feel like it. You will be surprised at who you can become friends with, but you have to put yourself out there.

2. Appreciate each place for what it has to offer. Del Rio, Texas will never be Colorado Springs, Colorado, because it is not meant to be. There are things here that we do not have in Colorado, and I have learned to appreciate those things. Get out and explore! Even if you feel there is nothing to explore, I can promise you there is. It may just be a different type of exploring, like a lake with desert all around it and a Mexican bakery instead of mountain hikes.

3. Cherish your time with your husband. Support him. Put on a smile when he comes home, even if it's been a crappy day. He needs your love, and he needs your smile. Do not spend the short amount of time you have together complaining or criticizing him or anyone else. Enjoy the little things in life, like eating dinner together, and going on a walk or watching a show. And when you can, get away for a date night or a short trip. Those will put life into your marriage and let you take a break from the everyday routine.

4. Allow yourself to have sad days. But also allow yourself to have good days. You will miss your friends, family, and the Target down the road. You will miss your favorite restaurant, and the mountains. That's okay, and it's totally normal. Just make sure you also allow yourself to see the good in the new people and places around you. Realize that better days are coming, and you might even learn to love certain things about this place that you will miss in the next place.









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